Scrambled Brain

My brain is being challenged on a daily basis, by all my senses. Sound, a song is usually the first one that sends me down memory lane, a noise like a lawnmower on an overcast day. Tidbits of a conversation overheard, but not intentionally, giving me food for thought and a way to argue the pros and cons in my head. Sight, read a tweet, see school kids getting caught in the rain, and running, laughing and giggling, looking at half an ocean being rained on and the other half calm and settled. Touch, feeling rain on my skin, the varying temperature changes as they occur, the kiss from my kids as they head off to another day at school. Taste, my morning coffee and how it immediately relaxes me and stimulates me, a child’s first attempt at cooking dinner for the family, taste of water – ocean and fresh lakes rivers. Smell, cut grass always the quickest trip for me to and down memory lane, forest and bush when gentle rain is falling, baking, hanging fresh washing.

My brain scrambles to process and then categorise these assaults to my already full mind. I cannot sort these quick enough. Where do I store the overflow, I need to get to my laptop and start flowing them to the visual form and as time goes on probably the more reliable.

Why am I thinking so much, is it because I have more disagreements in my head than I used to. Am I more informed due to social media and my participating in it, rather than observing it. Do I agree with everything, and can I be impartial. I don’t think I can, I am of the minority: Female, non-white and reside in my non birth country.

My culture says that at a certain time (usually during change of life) we become “wiser” and therefore teachers with the ability to use all our life learning’s and pass these onto our children. The passing on of knowledge is easier when your children live with you, but I don’t limit my “wisdom” to my immediate family, I have a wider audience with their friends, and their team mates, my friends children and have found that I can help, not necessarily change a mind, but definitely allow them to see another way through their uncertainty. (I use the term wisdom loosely, because I don’t consider myself wise at all, I have made mistakes and I am still receiving life lessons.)

I feel blessed to say that my brain is mine, and we are free to think, and at times overthink, issues and sensory cues in our own space, with the freedom that every person should enjoy and not be persecuted or ashamed of it.

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